I miss my mom today...

This is my mother... I miss her. She's been gone for almost six years, and it still seems like yesterday.

I feel cheated and angry. She barely knew Colin, and she'll never know Dylan or my sister's baby. Colin was just over a month when she passed away, still a little baby, so he doesn't remember her.

She'll never see either of them grow up. She never play with them, take care of them, laugh with them, and that angers me. I cried for the first time yesterday in months. Maybe that's why I've been depressed for a little bit. I don't know... I just wish that both my boys could have known her, known what great woman she was, how strong she was. She was awesome.

I still miss calling home, and having her pick up the phone... Hi Dear... How's my granddog? She loved Dakota, and spoiled her just like she would any grandchild. Even if I told her not to feed her human food, she would be sneaking her a cookie or some grapes. You couldn't tell her not to do it, she just would. A part of me died with her that day... and I'm not sure if I can ever fully get it back. She was the rock of the family, and I sometimes feel like that job has been passed down to me, as Nick isn't very strong in times like these. He tends to fall apart.